Thursday, 13 December 2012

Why Being in Medical School is Both Awesome and Horrible



1. The *Izzat* (positive)

Once you're in medical school you're officially Daacter Sahab. Wherever you wear that white coat you shall be hailed as such and trust me, it's the best feeling ever. It doesn't matter if you can't tell a Panadol from a zeher ki goli because you have been branded a daacter and shall stay one for the rest of your life (unless ofcourse you flunk out, in which case your desi relatives shall never let you forget it for the rest of your life. But no pressure).

2. The *Izzat* (negative)

A medical student is the lowest item on the medical totem pole. Any self importance that you might have gained from people running around you asking *Daacter saahab mera gala kharaab hai mein kya kerun?* is nullified by the frequent insults you're subjected to by your teachers. Apparently the fact that you're in med school is meant to somehow infuse every little piece of information in your books into your head. Also you're somehow meant to morph into a saint and by that I mean no bunking, no sleeping in class, no talking in class etc. You must only walk with dignity and purpose. You must never wear make up and pretty clothes. You must only wear practical shoes and so on. Not that any of the above rules hold any significance for us. Society may have put us on a pedestal but, basically, we're no saints.
Some frequent insults:
-Shameless people
-Parhnay ki zehmat hee nahi kerni
-Walking around like s/he owns the place
-Jitna time tyaar honay mein lagaaya hai utna parhnay mein lagaatay tou pass ho jaatay
Some Priceless Insults:
-Six months mein bakri bacha de deti hai magar aap kou biochemistry nahi aai
-Jaisay aap idhar udhar phir rahi hain waisay adaakaar studio mein phirtay hain
-Aap ke jaisay doctoron kou patients ke lawaahikeen aa ke maartay hain. Sahi kertay hain
And so on.

3. Everyone Suddenly Believes You To Be Wiser Than The Dalai Lama

Before medical school you're generally just another silly teenager but the second you put on that white coat for the first time, a series of incredible cosmic events metamorphose you into a modern day Buddha (or so everyone seems to think). Suddenly, you're smarter, wiser and more mature and every word out of your mouth has more significance than it ever did before. Mind boggling.

4. The Studying

This is probably the single most horrible aspect of med school. You'll study like a dog all year round and the one week break after your exams shall leave you itching to turn a page simply because the habit has been so ingrained into you. At any given time of the year, the odds of you having a test/exam coming up are a million to one. Every book is large enough to have the ability to brain someone and you before long you're dreaming of burning them all. Only you can't because apparently, setting books on fire is beneath a doctor to be. (Yeah I know FML)

5. Having Fun is Suddenly Legit

When your life is Desi, the general rule is that whenever you're having a whale of a time, there're are always parents on the periphery tutting disapprovingly at the way you're wasting your time. Post admission in med school, this suddenly, miraculously changes. You've crossed the invisible barrier that separates "responsible kids" from "irresponsible kids" and it seems to give you the carte blanche to *know what's good for you*. So when you decide to ignore all the work and just have fun your parents (probably impressed by the amount of work you HAVE to do) seem to positively egg you on.

6. The Guilt

It's a rare, precious day when you sleep 8+ hours and fail to feel guilty about it. Whether you're hanging out with your friends, watching a movie, reading a new book, enjoying a nice night out with your family or on a vacation, the nagging feeling that you should be studying is always there suffusing you with gloom and an increasing amount of anxiety that culminates in you freaking out, grabbing the first school book you see and beginning to study frantically. Oh well.

I have a sneaky suspicion that there're more cons that I'm trying to hide from myself, but I guess that's just as well..

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